Some of you might’ve noticed my absence; I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you didn’t. Why have I been gone for so long? Well one part of the reason is that law school has started and I have been focused on getting my gears going again and getting back into a routine. The other part of the reason is that, for a little while, I didn’t need you.
This blog started mainly because I had lost myself. Not only am I in a world that is fairly foreign to me, it became a world that I just let grind against my values, my personality, and my true nature. I can’t say that this is not entirely true right now, but boy is it a lot less so.
It’s common that people have a rough time with others telling them they are something that they’re not. People will try to mold you into the idea of something that just isn’t you. And yes, I agree that this is tough, but I realized what’s tougher. What’s tougher is when YOU tell yourself that you’re something you’re not. And every time you force yourself to convince you, something so spiteful that lies in the very depths of your soul tells you that you. are. wrong. It hisses that you are not, will not, and will never be this lie.
Unfortunately, more often than not, we choose to ignore that voice. We tell it to go away because we have a good plan that we’ve got to stick to. You tell yourself that your future belongs in X, with Y, during Z. And though the thought of it makes you feel determined, you still feel sad. You feel ambitious but not happy. You act on this “dream” but your heart is just not in it 24/7.
My advice is to just do it. Face the lie you’ve been lying to yourself all along. Let it rise to the surface and let it free. Let your heart be where you know where it belongs. And if it doesn’t know, it just might be because you’re not really listening.